Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
