Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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