If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
it's not cheating when I paid for it
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
