she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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