After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize