Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
