I'm sorry my penis didn't work
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
