Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
