You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize