I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
