Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
