im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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