She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
