you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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