well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
