If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
