also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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