We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
