at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
