Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Randomize
