Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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