well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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