So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
