thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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