I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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