How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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