he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
