there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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