she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
