yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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