I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Houston, we have a blender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize