and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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