marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
