I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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