As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
