Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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