How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
