I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
