I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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