Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
