dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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