help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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