If that was your dad, he is hot
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
