..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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