Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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