I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
