Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
well you can't waste a boner
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
