Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me