Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school... http://tfl.nu/5amt
  Replies (23) Good night (4921) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted. http://tfl.nu/sak4
  Replies (48) Good night (1254) Bad night (6861)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie. http://tfl.nu/1hr1
  Replies (25) Good night (5877) Bad night (1102)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet http://tfl.nu/pj67
  Replies (26) Good night (4592) Bad night (1261)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat. http://tfl.nu/ln17
  Replies (28) Good night (5968) Bad night (1348)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly http://tfl.nu/zoqz
  Replies (6) Good night (1704) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/wgn7
  Replies (10) Good night (1409) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help. http://tfl.nu/8i31
  Replies (5) Good night (392) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT. http://tfl.nu/osv9
  Replies (4) Good night (987) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (477): View more from

  I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (477): I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me http://tfl.nu/o2l0
  Replies (12) Good night (597) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void. http://tfl.nu/6brj
  Replies (1) Good night (259) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time. http://tfl.nu/jw47
  Replies (0) Good night (542) Bad night (226)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (606): When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up. http://tfl.nu/8sfz
  Replies (3) Good night (732) Bad night (272)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol http://tfl.nu/3jn5
  Replies (1) Good night (696) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (606): He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after. http://tfl.nu/68ad
  Replies (1) Good night (580) Bad night (183)

Randomize