You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
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