bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
