i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
