no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
