i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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