Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
