Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
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He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
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I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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