does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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