So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3pm strippers are depressing
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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