im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
