I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
In other news, I just burned my penis
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
