I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
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And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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