you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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